Not Alone
by MissBesanii
Summary: It had been years. She had changed, but he had not.  Ferriswheelshipping. Rated T for maturity, but nothing explicit.  For Samia.


**A/N: For Samia, as it is her birthday. This is a sort of a sequel to my other Ferriswheelshipping, _Enharmonic, _but you don't have to have read it to understand this. ^^**

**Inspired by the song Not Alone (you don't say Besanii... -_-') by Red, and I've made an AMV to go with it. :)**

**Happy Birthday Samia. x**

* * *

><p>Not Alone<p>

_Ferriswheelshipping_

It had been years, and things had long since become numb, the knife-like pain blunted through time.

She barely even thought about him anymore. As Cheren had said very soon after that day; "Life goes on." He was right of couse, as insensitive as he was. No matter how hard she tried, her life would have to continue on.

She did as he had asked. She became champion for her own glory, but even that hadn't filled the void he'd left when he ran away.

Even oblivious Bianca had see the problem after a little while. "I don't understand, I thought you'd be happy you disbanded Team Plasma." She'd mused, and then a few days later after pondering over it deeply, she'd whispered; "It isn't Team Plasma you're sad about, is it, Touko?"

No. Life had never gone back to normal. She'd had a life before she met N, and she had a life after, but it had changed. Meeting him had changed everything irrepairably.

His explanation for leaving had been simple and understandable. He felt like a failure to everything he stood for, and had let down all pokemon he'd thought he'd been fighting for. He'd almost caused a catastrophic battle between she and him, and was ashamed.

She thought he would have returned some time. But he never did.

She was nearly twenty years old now, had reigned champion up until she was eighteen and was the sweetheart of Unova. Everybody knew her name, everybody adored her and held her up proudly to present her to other regions. She played along. She smiled and protected them with Reshiram. She fit her role, and that was her life now.

"Touko?"

She turned at the sound of her name, and smiled brilliantly at the boy who wandered in.

"Touya! How lovely to see you!" She chimed, throwing her arms around him and embracing him wholly.

"You too, how have you been?" He returned the embrace gladly,

"Good thank you." She replied, stepping away and gestured for the balcony. He nodded and followed her as she continued to speak. "What brings you here?"

"Now I don't need a reason to check up on you, do I?" He asked playfully.

"True." She chuckled airily, placing her hands onto the frozen balcony bars. Her eyes wandered over the view, autumn was turning slowly to winter, and although it hadn't snowed yet, the place looked white and frosty nonetheless. It was her favourite time of year.

"I never get bored of seeing that." Touya told her, his eyes distant and in a trance-like state. She looked up to him - for he was about half a foot taller than she - and smiled at his dreamy expression. He glanced down to her and noticed this, and instead of blushing, he returned to stare at the view.

"Cheren and Bianca say hello." Touya muttered, knowing that this could be a touchy subject. The three best friends had been joined at the hip once, but when their journey begun, things changed. Touko changed, Cheren changed for the better, and Bianca, being oblivious to the world, did not change at all. So with all three going down separate paths, they grew distant, and that growth only increased faster after that fateful day that Team Plasma were disbanded. Touko became champion, and so was distanced in more ways than one. Cheren and Bianca were still just as close, and a relationship had formed. Touko was no longer a part of their lives, and so she was left alone.

Until Touya came along.

A couple of years her junior, he had wandered into the Unova League and waltzed straight through to the champion with little difficulty defeating the Elite Four. (After all, they were at a serious disadvantage using only one type of pokemon, it's how Touko had defeated them last time.) He was timid, quiet, and shy. Not the sort of threat one would pick up immediately, but Touya knew exactly how he felt, and had encouraged him to do his best, as would she in return.

If it were not for Reshiram, she would have lost her status that battle.

On the third rematch, a few years later, she finally did lose to him. The region was at a shock, but also delighted that a new champion had arised. They still cherished Touko, being the hero who saved their region all those years ago, but they had somebody new to cherish and hold up with pride.

It was only natural that they bonded. Their friendship grew tight, there were rumours constantly about them. And although one would have liked it to be true, the other did not reciprocate the feeling.

Touko was aware that Touya was falling for her, she wanted to stop him, but didn't know how. She knew she should ignore him, send him the message that nothing would ever happen. However, she just couldn't let herself be rid of the one friend who was there for her constantly. It was cruel, to lead him on so, and she was selfish, but she couldn't find the strength to say goodbye to yet another friendship.

She sighed; "Touya, why have you come?"

Now he finally blushed, the blood tinting his cheeks in the most wonderful pale pink colour. "What do you mean?"

"You didn't come all this way just to say hello." She stated, staring at him to observe his reactions.

He inhaled slowly and let it all back out in a rush. He was just in the midst of inhaling again to speak when a voice cut him off before he could even begin.

"Touko."

Their heads turned to look over the balcony, they couldn't see anybody right away, but she glanced over the bars and found the source of the voice.

She froze solid, like the bars her hands were gripping.

"Touko? Are you okay? Do you know this man?" Touya asked, looking over the balcony to see who she saw. He didn't recognise him. Of course he wouldn't, it had been a long time since anybody had seen the leader of Team Plasma around.

There was an eerie silence as the two stared at each other, Touya glancing between the two, but mainly staring at Touko in confusion.

The green haired man spoke up; "Touko, say something."

She did not speak, but she did shudder. This was a nightmare, surely. Her mind was playing a cruel trick on her and she would wake up sweating any moment now.

"Touko, who is that man?" Touya followed her into her home again, shutting the balcony doors behind him.

The numbness trickled away. That wall of blur she had created in her mind to protect herself from those painful memories of a certain someone was now very clear. Even if this was a nightmare, the pain would now linger for a long while again. She felt teary eyed at the thought.

"Touko!" Touya fretted, taking her elbow and pulling her closer to wipe the droplets running from her eyes. "Who is he? What has he done to you?"

She shivered again and hung her head. "That's N, Touya."

He didn't move, but she felt him become frigid in that split second of realisation. She would not be free of his grip until he chose to let her go. She had never spoken of N to Touya before, for her own sake. She had not wanted to remember and relive the pain of him leaving her all alone. But he had heard from Cheren and Bianca. He knew the story, and had a suspision that it had affected Touko more than anybody else.

"Wait here." Touya pressed her down as if to push her to the spot, and turned toward the door. Before Touko could stop him, he had already stopped. The man he was going for was already in the room.

He was tall. Taller than even Touya, who was at least six foot. His hair was still long and defiant, and his limbs were still gangly like a teenagers. He wore similar clothes as to what he used to, only in black and grey now, and his peculiar accessories still swung around his neck and pockets as he moved.

"You've got some nerve showing your face here." Touya snapped, stepping into N's line of view to Touko.

"I had to return some time." N replied calmly, failing to notice the agression Touya was threatening. Touko tried to place a hand onto Touko's arm, but he shrugged her away.

"No, you didn't. So I suggest you turn around and leave, never come back." Touya demanded, his fingers fumbling for a pokeball. It seems he had forgotten N was the owner of Reshiram's counterpart, Zekrom.

N took a step closer. "I did not come all this way to be told to leave again. I came to see Touko." He said, almost childishly. She had forgotten that trait, she had pushed it to the back of her mind and left it there.

"She doesn't want to see you!" Touya growled.

"Touya, please." Touko managed to get a grip onto his forearm. He glared at her, but then realised his mistake and the look softened. "I'm sorry you came all this way, but would you mind if N and I talked? It's been a long time."

Her pleading eyes melted him with little resistance, and he sighed. "Of course, Touko. Anything for you." He kissed her forehead and left, not without a parting glare to N. N, however, did not notice, as he was staring at Touko with a mingle of emotions, sorrow, excitement, fear, but mainly regret.

Once the door closed, Touko turned her back and walked for another room. "May I get you a drink?"

"No... Thank you." N added for politeness, hesitantly following her and lingering in the doorway.

There was no way to start the conversation they had to have, and Touko was far too stubborn to make the effort. This was not her fault, she had never left. Still, when he didn't speak, she asked a simple question instead. "How is Zekrom?"

"Good." He replied simply. "Reshiram?"

"Happy."

"Good." N nodded, and then frowned. "And... How are you?"

She stiffened. This was the wrong question to ask. She turned around to face him and set her jaw. "Oh. I'm just great!" She growled sarcastically. "You wander in here after years of not hearing a single word from you and you dare to ask me how I am?"

He flinched away from her outburst; "It was a standard question, I did not mean harm by it."

"Well, it did harm me, N. It did." She yelled, refusing to show the tears. "You left me, N. When I needed you most, you left me to fend for myself!"

"I would have been hunted down if I'd stayed, Touko. You know why I left." He pleaded.

"I would have stood by you. I would have stopped them." She insisted, shaking her head, her hair flowing freely behind her.

He did not reply, he looked to the ground, ashamed.

The look was pitiful, she remembered him holding himself like it before, the day he'd left. The day he'd realised what he was. He hung his head, and placed his arms around himself, his long body hunching over itself. It was a sorry state, and she almost felt guilty for being the reason he held that pose. She was still angry, but the sight of him almost on the verge of tears was enough to calm her.

"You weren't alone, N. Why didn't you realise that?" She asked quietly, and she could immediately see him react to the calmer mood. He glanced up to her and back down to the floor.

"I was a fool. I didn't realise until I'd left. I didn't know how to come back. I was... I was scared to hurt you again." He confessed, holding his hands out pleadingly.

"But the longer you waited, the more it hurt." She whispered.

"I understand that now..." He muttered back, then looked at her. "Please forgive me."

She met his eyes with a shaky stare and shook her head slowly. "It's not that easy, N." Her lip wobbled. She wanted to forgive him, for she knew he was not a malicious person in the slightest. He had left to protect her, but it had done more harm than good. If he'd have known this before, she knew he would have never left. This did not help her though, the pain from years of lonliness had left her bitter, and it was not an easy feeling to cast away.

"I know, but is there a chance of forgiveness?" He took a step closer, pleading with his eyes.

She nodded slowly. "I don't know how, but I will try."

"Then I am not leaving you again." He came toe to toe to her, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. He held her tightly to his chest, even if she was tensed up and refused to hold him back. "I will never leave you alone again, Touko. I'm so sorry."

She shuddered closer, and could feel tears dripping onto her shoulder. Some of her own fell onto his jacket. She was in pain, but she was not a monster. She could not stand by and watch somebody cry without trying to comfort them. She placed her arms around his waist and held him back. He seemed to cry harder, muttering more apologies through sobs. He was like a child, desperately seeking approval from ther person he looked up to. Her motherly nature was overwhelming. She put his needs before her own instinctively, and the bitterness fell to the back of her mind. She needed to fix this broken man in front of her before she could fix herself.

"We're going to be okay, N. Stay with me." She told him, and she could feel him nod.

"-not gonna leave. I promise."

"I know, I know..." She replied, her fingers tangling into his hair. Her anger was long forgotten now. It was hard to feel empty when the void had been filled. N was there, in her arms, there was no pain now, just the memory. Her friends would not approve, but they did not understand, only she had the affinity with N back in the journey, only she had understood him.

She was the only person to ever love him, and care for him. He'd responded to that, and here he was. They cried wordlessly for a long while, until they were both exhausted from the outburst of emotion.

"I've missed you." She sighed, finally releasing the tension with her breath. His juddering sobs softened too, to mere hiccups as he nodded.

"I've missed you too, so much." He agreed, pulling away to see her face. "You always made me smile, Touko." He brushed a lingering tear off her cheek and screwed up the hand that taken it into a fist. "You saved me from my father's cruelty, and I am in you're debt for that."

She nodded; "You're more than welcome."

Without another word, he swept closer, kissing her with such force she would have stumbled back if he hadn't have caught her. Her hands clutched onto the side of his face so he wouldn't let go, and they were on fire. Their first kiss, back on that day that had changed their lives, was sweet, gentle and inexperienced. This one was quite the opposite. They gave into the animalistic urge and locked lips with such intensity a rabid growl ripped through N's throat. Neither of them were inexperienced any more, both of them were surprised by the passion that had sparked out of nowhere. Touko found herself pressed against the wall, hands flying everywhere around their bodies.

No, this was nothing like thier first kiss.

Energy and heat rushed between them, their bodies mashed together in way that she couldn't tell where she ended and he began. His hands found her legs, and they instinctively moved up, slowly, painfully. She twitched with an excitement she had never felt before, her hands clawing harder into his back as he drew closer.

The inconvinience of clothes was soon taken care of, and hot bursts of breath ran along their cold, bare skin as they explored each other. Everything was so natural to them, there was nothing to stop them as they stumbled to the floor on which they had stood, becoming one after years of being so separate.

Sharp gasps rang through the night as they reconnected with one another, and it was as if he'd never left. They lay together, curled up as they fed each other warmth through their sweat covered skin. Sleep wanted to take over, but their minds were far too busy to succumb to forty winks.

"I won't ever leave you." He repeated, kissing her shoulder gently as he tightened his arm around her waist as if to prove his point.

"And you are not alone." She replied, feeling whole once more.


End file.
